Last Post, but new blog!

To my very small amount of followers

I am excited, and a bit sad to let you know I will not be blogging here anymore.  I never felt that I had a niche on this blog, and as much as I loved it, it was very wishywashy.  

I have started a new business called Black Heart Creatives, making goth/macabre/modern crafts, cards and jewellery, including a cunt bracelet!  All my focus is going to be there now, however, I have started a new blog for all craft projects and product reviews and will be updating there a lot more than I ever did here.  So please, follow me and my adventures over there, I promise I will still be sweary and hilarious.  You can do it via bloglovin too.

Blog:                                    blackheartcreatives.blogspot.com 

Facebook:                            www.facebook.com/pages/Black-Heart-Creatives/125941160918157 

Twitter                                 @BHCreatives 

aaaand my Etsy shop           https://www.etsy.com/shop/BlackHeartCreatives

Thank you to all that followed and commented.  

Charlotte 

MY SISTER GOT A BABY INSIDE OF HER

Yeah I haven't blogged in ages, which is a bit stupid really considering I got an amazing DSLR for this very purpose (and for prosperity purposes of course). Things that have happened in since Christmas:

• I started going on evening walks
• MY SISTER GOT A BABY INSIDE OF HER
• It was my birthday/ It was valentine’s day/ it was my anniversary/February is really busy
• It snowed
• I became obsessed with Twin Peaks, The American Office and It's Always Funny in Philadelphia 
• I snapped my MENISCUS in my knee
• Soundgarden and Faith No More announced UK Festivals

So each of the above are my short photo dominated catch up blog posts for the next week, which will be posted in no particular order. This post is: "MY SISTER GOT A BABY INSIDE      OF HER"

Never have two more deserving people got pregnant before.  I wept with joy at the news of my baby sister getting her own baby INSIDE OF HER. Not being an easy ride so far, I had been busting to share the news, and as soon as she came out of her scan I met her outside work and cried like a weirdo in the street.  Alex and her partner Dan looked on at me like I was a weirdo, themselves not shedding any emotion but just letting me openly cry in the street which looked like for no reason. They later revealed they cried at the sonogram lady and they got extra pictures of their tiny grape baby because they were so emotional already.  Alex also sent me a recording of the babies heartbeat, and at the end it gets all fast because it is moving(!)

I have been over enthusiastic in wanting to help with the baby, I am not even a birthing partner, because I am quote "too loud and annoying." I am better at organising things and being an obscenely efficient bossy nazi, so that babies 1st birthday party is going to be epic.

My sister is really small and petite and everything I am not, so not even at the half way point, she is huge.  Skinny arms and legs and bum, you wouldn't even know she is incubating a tiny person in her from behind.  Luckily I have taken loads of photos to show she was really a fatty early on to show her kids when they are older.    

I cannot wait till August.  I would like to say how pleased I am and how much I love my jnr jnr mole sister and Dan so much and cannot wait to meet baby him or her.  Also I cannot wait to be slightly on the edge Auntie Charlotte who will feed them loads of sweets and get their ears pierced when they are 6 months old and dress them in adult people clothes and get it to ride the cat, all the shit you just should not do.  <3

It was my birthday/ It was valentine’s day/ it was my anniversary/February is really busy

Yeah I haven't blogged in ages, which is a bit stupid really considering I got an amazing DSLR for this very purpose (and for prosperity purposes of course). Things that have happened in since Christmas:

• I started going on evening walks
• MY SISTER GOT A BABY INSIDE OF HER
• It was my birthday/ It was valentine’s day/ it was my anniversary/February is really busy
• It snowed
• I became obsessed with Twin Peaks, The American Office and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia 
• I snapped my MENISCUS in my knee
• Soundgarden and Faith No More announced UK Festivals

So each of the above are my short photo dominated catch up blog posts for the next week, which will be posted in no particular order. This post is: "It was my birthday/ It was valentine’s day/ it was my anniversary/February is really busy"

My birthday was pretty sucky actually, I turned 26.  However the entire day was made infinitely better when I rinsed every charity shop in Hemel for lace and crocheted doilies to make: LAMPSHADES ala this website: http://dosfamily.com/2011/01/lace-lamp/

My attempt failed, as I pasted the doilies on so hard that when I Andrew burst the balloon, it took the doilies down with it,  I looked on with my face contorted and twisted with pure horror (and some bemusement) at what looked like a small planet imploding, whilst at the same time making the most godawful noise, like a sad squeaking and wailing sound.  My friends also took me out for a nice meal and we talked about eating umbilical cords and road kill and the first snow came down, which was also very nice.

Valentines day.  I have no qualms writing here what it is really all about.  I am not one of these people that say "oh why do you need one day a year for that person to show you they love you?" Shut up idiots.  Valentines day is to GET THE BEST STUFF IN FRONT OF PEOPLE AT WORK AND BE BETTER THAN THEM! I won, by far, except my friend who shagged someone in a karaoke bar in Japan the same night.  I got the standard flowers, hand delivered by my boyfriend

Yeah they were nice and people were saying things like "I don't care" but really they did care and were jealous.  People got some balloons and a rose, someone even got some dry biscuits shaped like shoes.  Then, THEN THE BEST THING EVER ARRIVED.  A cheesecake from www.englishcheesecake.com IN DRY ICE.  The thing was smoking and in about 10 boxes and everyone crowded round to look.  It was at that moment I won Valentines day, for a good few years.  Next year and beyond people will still mention that cheesecake.  It took a day to defrost and a week to eat, but my goodness it was worth it.  There were moments when I thought, even if I don't eat it all, think of the epeen or valentines day epeen equivalent I would get? 

My attempts for Andrew were a lot less exciting, as he doesn't really ever give a shit, and totally understands the valentines epeen that I needed.  I say less exciting, but I made him a card, taken from an illustration that the awesome @garabe made.  Our colour printer at work broke, so I had to colour it in myself.  It is amazing, considering our recent Twin Peaks obsession, it also had some game of thrones pictures inside!

It was also my boyfriends 21st Birthday, which we celebrated at my parents, and we played cards and got drunk and over used the word "buff" as a family.  It was also Andrew and mine three year anniversary.  Which means three years ago we had a sordid affair and had our first date in Soho and bodeans, which resulted in us getting a cat and a flat and being fully fledged internet people, meeting on the internet and saying lol irl and living happily ever after.  As every internet couple should have, here is my best GIF of us:

I started going on evening walks

Yeah I haven't blogged in ages, which is a bit stupid really considering I got an amazing DSLR for this very purpose (and for prosperity purposes of course). Things that have happened in since Christmas:

• I started going on evening walks
• MY SISTER GOT A BABY INSIDE OF HER
• It was my birthday/ It was valentine’s day/ it was my anniversary/February is really busy
• It snowed
• I became obsessed with Twin Peaks, The American Office and It's Always Funny in Philadelphia 
• I snapped my MENISCUS in my knee
• Soundgarden and Faith No More announced UK Festivals

 So each of the above are my short photo dominated catch up blog posts for the next week, which will be posted in no particular order. This post is: "I started going on evening walks"

To save money, and to keep fit I started going on evening walks near my house, which apparently has many interesting things to take pictures of and helped me practice some photography skillz.  I was even stopped by a policeman on one walk, giving me photo tips.  It ruled.  Since my meniscus situation I can barely walk around, but these will continue once I am no longer hop along.

omgz so sexy, got dressed in the dark walking outfit: leggings, odd socks, really old converse, holy green jumper, pink mittens, leopard print coat, snood, stupid big red hurr.

 Cool church door

 Andrew doing an action shot, hipster quirky fun times 

 Henry the 8th used to live in Hemel, so our town is full of lovely things with his face on.  Mainly things covered in bird poo though.  This is outside our town hall/civic centre

 SEED PODS 

 The three white ducks I see every single day.  

Some really nice fungus and mushrooms just around and about 

 The really cool bronze style naked discus man who is always holding a fag, he was even about in the 60's when my mum used to look at him, and apaz he still had a fag going then, and my nan would say DON'T STARE, probably meaning about his peen that is RIGHT out for all to see.

Leaf, taken on some macro setting

I am really unsure how to sort out the shutting settings at night, but I managed to capture a duck holding his leg up, which is one of the funniest things ever.
 

It snowed

Yeah I haven't blogged in ages, which is a bit stupid really considering I got an amazing DSLR for this very purpose (and for prosperity purposes of course). Things that have happened in since Christmas:

• I started going on evening walks
• MY SISTER GOT A BABY INSIDE OF HER
• It was my birthday/ It was valentine’s day/ it was my anniversary/February is really busy
• It snowed
• I became obsessed with Twin Peaks, The American Office and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia 
• I snapped my MENISCUS in my knee
• Soundgarden and Faith No More announced UK Festivals

So each of the above are my short photo dominated catch up blog posts for the next week, which will be posted in no particular order. This post is: "It snowed"

It started snowing on my birthday.  We found this out when we came out of pizza express and there was a foot of snow and we had to dig the car out, and then Wilson drifted across the road and I had to shout PULL OFF IN 2ND FFS in her face.   

We made a snowman to celebrate the fact it snowed and it had no travel repercussions on me for the first time in five years.  Normally I would tell the snow to fuck right off and glare at people rolling around in it.  Not this year. This year I got amongst the snow.  We made a snowman and it smelt weird, and it turns out they are not that easy to make.  I also made so vulgar poses behind its snowy back.

Arrested Development hoody is a must for all cold outside activities

We stuffed seeds in his demonic eye holes and fashioned him a twig smile

Andrew enjoying the snow, also portraying where I hurt his forehead a bit on purpose and it left a mark

Possibly the best album cover of all time?

Two pence nose, and some weird black bits in his stinky torso

I licked his face

I also erotically touched him, his mouth is in a straight line, which made me think he didn't like it?  It was consensual though, as you know my feelings on non consensual sex guys. 

 Yeah........ the snow made me sexually aggressive.

A Matryoshka Christmas

So apologies for the mass photo blog posts.  I don't really have anywhere to put my practice photos up, and taking photos of the lovely things I got for Christmas  and putting them here seemed like the most logical thing to do, even though I hate bloggers doing Christmas photos.  To me it just seems like a "ooh look what I got I bet it is better/quirky-er/more expensive than yours" bragging thing to do.  HO HUM.  I got money for a holiday next year, as  I am a terrible saver, but here are the little bits that I got, which seemed to be heavily matryoshka and skulled themed (see previous post of my crystal skull!).  I also got my Canon EOS 1100D DSLR, which I am totally in love with.

1. Books for Andrew, including the hung over cook book which is full of hang over cures 2. Raman bowls and spoons so we can add raman to our weekly dinner repertoire 3. Matryoshka mug 4. Matryoshka notebook 5. Book of Skulls 6. Gustav Klimt "The Kiss" tea light holder 7. Vintage Cocktail Shaker 8. 1950’s Shot Glasses 9. Me and Zena Giant Broken Heart Necklace 10. Skull Hand Hair Grip (I has greasy hair I know)